3 things Tony had to pay for and 3 he didn't
by Miss Shallott
Summary: These are the chronicles of Tony's credit card as he pays for things his Avenger friends break. Steve should stay away from things with more than 4 buttons. Featuring: Wolverine, Hulk, Captain America, Ironman and the black widow. So far.
1. Chapter 1

3 things Tony Stark had to pay for (and five he didn't)

1. The TiVo (and the living room, and the hallway, and the 3rd floor bathroom)

Tony Stark was a rich man. A dirty rich man. A "my socks cost more money than you see in a year" man.

The Avengers, it seemed, were trying their damndest to change that.

He was alright with paying for the Avengers tech out of his own pocket. Hell, he built most of it (except for the bathrooms in the Quinjet- those were added by a plumber named Gary after a disastrous night of bad schwarma). He was even alright with paying for a super soldier, an Asgardian and an angry green giant to eat.

He was not alright with paying for a new pair of XXXXXXXL purple pants every other week (and the Hulk would not wear any other colour). He was not alright with paying for Thor's hair products. And he was not alright with paying for technology that Steve broke.

Steve meant well enough. He just could not understand how to operate anything that was not used for super-heroeing. Even Thor could use the stereo better than Steve. Steve's worst operating skills involved Tony's other baby- his 75 inch ultra-high definition super plasma 3D TV with full surround sound. Tony had installed a TiVo onto his baby, because the team was never around to watch their shows when they came on.

He really should have ordered Steve not to touch it.

Steve had turning the TiVo on and off down pat. That was not a problem. He was just wasn't good with any of the other buttons.

Tony wound up paying for a new TiVo (because Hulk threw it at Steve, missed, and sent it flying out the window) new living room, hallway and bathroom when Steve managed to delete every single recorded show. Most Avengers were just annoyed, but the Hulk was livid about missing the Gossip Girl season finale.

15 minutes later, Hulk had managed to destroy the room the TiVo was in, the hallway adjacent to it, and the bathroom across from it. He finally calmed down when Clint explained that he could download it and they could watch it on another TV. Miraculously, Tony's beautiful TV remained intact.

Tony didn't have to pay for the My Little Pony box set Steve bought for him to make up for the deletion of at least 10 episodes. He also didn't have to pay Steve to remain silent about Tony watching a children's show about talking ponies.


	2. Chapter 2

2. 75 inch ultra-high definition super plasma 3D TV with full surround sound, 6 boxes of pizza and 4 pounds of wings.

Tony was good at saying goodbye. He said goodbye to his father, to every girlfriend he had ever had, most of his Ironman suits, his money, and his TiVo.

However, he was not expecting to say goodbye to his most precious non-Ironman possession; his TV.

He was very prepared to say goodbye to Natasha and Logan.

Tony had never really gotten hockey, he just knew that Canadians were really passionate about it to the point of rioting (he hoped that this "rioting" was purposely bumping into someone and not saying sorry after). Knowing this, he was not sure about Steve inviting Logan over to watch the world juniors.

He was also not sure why he had to pay for them to eat a stupid amount of pizza and an ungodly amount of wings. He was also not sure why they refused to share with him. At least Logan brought his own beer.

Natasha decided that she would watch too, whenever her team was playing, and cheer on mother Russia. Wisely, all the other Avengers chose to stay the hell away from the three lunatics while they watched hockey.

Tony was sitting in the Avengers kitchen, minding his own business and eating schwarma, when he heard the first goal. And the second goal. And the third, fourth and fifth goal. And the sound of Wolverine going through the TV.

Then, Tony heard the sound of his tears.

Tony raced to the TV room and found Logan stuck in the TV and Steve and Natasha still arguing. The game had been between the USA and Russia. Since Steve missed the cold war, he lacked the typical American sentiment towards the Russians. What had started the fight was Steve making a comment about a Russian-American guy on the American team, and Natasha taking it badly, and then some comments about how the American team was nothing with the player, some nasty words about the Russian's defense, and Logan stating that the Canadian team was going to beat both of them.

Logan was then promptly thrown into the TV, and Steve and Natasha began punching the crap out of each other.

Tony took one look at Logan, then at the pieces of his TV on the floor, then at Steve and Natasha, wiped his tears and told them to get the hell out of his house before he told the Hulk that they ordered his favourite kind of pizza and did not share any with him.

Natasha left, Steve mumbled a sheepish sorry and left, and Logan attempted to dislodge his butt from the wall.

Tony mourned two days for his TV, and then bought an 80 inch ultra super high definition flat screen wide screen mega pixel 3D TV, with ultra awesome surround sound. He then put that TV in his room, and put a 50 inch TV from the early 2000's that had one broken speaker in the TV room.

He did not have to pay for Natasha and Logan to actually say sorry, or for Steve to help him clean up the mess. He also did not ever have to host hockey night ever again.


End file.
